1. We're four years away from a European-style social democracy. (Can't take credit for this one - just agree with it.)
2. The economy is already sounding the death knells, shuddering and sputtering its way to an inevitable crash. Thanks to Quantitative Easing (because who remembers Weimar?) it'll be given a better shot in the arm than anyone needing any kind of life support once Obamacare comes into full force. And, like those seeking medical care in 2014 and beyond, that shot in the arm is going to be more euthanizing than envigorating. Get those wheelbarrows ready, folks; we'll have some bread to buy!
3. Count on your tax dollars (backyard sheds full of them) going towards making sure your kids stay in college longer - because it isn't like there'll be jobs for them when they graduate. Then again, what am I saying? Thanks to a fully federally funded educational system from teet to thirty, this generation is going to be fully qualified to obtain the career of their dreams: Mid-Level Bureaucrat.
4. Have a disease? Joints wearing out? Getting older? Don't have the energy to hold a full time job? There's a new treatment that goes something like this: Stick your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye.
5. Think Obama already did enough middle east butt-kissing the first time around? This term will usher in a newer, deeper level of political appeasement, known as "negotiating with the mentally insane".
6. That MTA "See Something, Say Something" campaign is going to take on a whole new meaning when Iranians are granted visas and direct flights to the US. The sad fact is, thanks to our increasingly socialized government, we are poised for an influx of radical Islamists - akin to what occurred in the EU in the mid 90s. And we all know how well that's turned out.
7. Start apologizing to the American military now. They've lost their minds, their limbs, and their lives to protect your right to empower a man who is willing and happy to leave them to slaughter. Parker and Stone may have joked about Operation Human Shield, but it is Obama who has made it a reality.
8. Our nation is composed of approximately 60,085,524 selfish individuals, the majority of whom operate under the assumption that because they made the needs of a so-called "interest group" their priority when voting, they are the Mother Theresas of their generation. What they don't understand is that by voting for the needs of a demographic instead of the needs of a a country, they put the self-interests of a few ahead of the interests of the many...thereby putting themselves on the same level as all those self-serving politicians they claim to hate. But if you call them selfish, you're racist/sexist/homphobic and/or declaring a "war" on them.
9. Orwellian will now be re-termed "Obamanian" because two government programs are good, but four are better.
10. Conversion to Judaism may just beat out backyard bomb shelters in the category of "methods of survival". Currently, Israel stands as the only nation with leadership that understands that you can not negotiate with someone who holds as sacred the belief that you are better off dead-and they have the nukes to prove it.
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